Impossible Horror (2017) Scary Movies XI

No I can't believe people paid to see the film either

IMPOSSIBLE HORROR is the sort of film that is kind of impossible to believe is screening at well known film festivals. Its got a knowing tone that kills both any humor and all the scares while making no sense even on it's own terms.

The story of a young woman in Toronto who investigates the weird things going on around her apartment complex should be something that produces thrills and chills but it doesn't. Filmed with a knowing attitude that kind of reminds me of the feel of John Carpenter's Dark Star or several other low budget horror films from the late 1970's the film relies on riffs and references to other better horror films in a desperate attempt to maintain the audiences attention. It doesn't really work and I disconnected early because I never really cared.

Additionally how the film is shot doesn't feel organic. It feels like a series of planned shots, each planned for effect and to look good and move the plot but never create any real life on screen. Think of it as if you picked up a book that was a series of sentences that told a story- but instead of the sentences forming paragraphs that created a world beyond the page you just told the story in a cursory manner-

Shot one- girl on couch- she hears scream
Shot two - new angle- she turns her head the turns back
Shot three - shot of a demon at the end of the couch.

Instead it should be something like "a young  woman is sitting on her couch reading when suddenly there is a blood curdling scream. Turning to see the source she stares out her window but she sees nothing- she is too high up for it to be near her. Relaxing  she turned back to he magazine-only to find a hideous thing staring over the arm of the couch peering up at her with hate in its eyes."

The film is a series of shots without the descriptions.

My dislike for IMPOSSIBLE HORROR comes from a complete lack of internal logic or any sort of understanding at times of even the most basic reality. It begins with our heroine frying a ten pound roast in a cast iron frying pan and then grabbing the handle for no determinable reason other than to burn her hand. Why would a woman living alone fry a roast- and why one as big as it is?

Yes it's a nit pick but it still makes no sense. But it's not the only one - sequence after sequence make no sense.

How about the early sequence where she is falling asleep on a couch watching a horror movie and then suddenly she is at a desk working on a story board while the movie on TV plays on as if no time had passed? How about her weird wandering around the building where she simply wanders around and finds random stuff often off screen?

And yes I know that's from the first fifteen minutes but I didn't want to list all the problems because I don't have the time. I noticed all the problems early on and stopped taking repetitive notes. By the time the zombies were melting and there were echoes of a gaillo I was shaking my head wondering why I let myself lose 75 minutes I'll never get back.

I suspect that if you click with the humor you'll love it and more power to you. For me this was a tough slog a kin to watching the home movie a bunch of talented friends make for their own amusement which they would never get a release even if they became famous because it isn't quite good enough.

IMPOSSIBLE HORROR isn't quite good enough.