Holidays (2016) Tribeca 2016 (Spoilers)

This collection of eight short horror films is the cinematic equivalent of having to work on a holiday after getting a piss poor gift. While one of the eight  films stands out, all have problems largely doing with the fact you know where the films are going from the set up.

The best of the bunch is FATHERS DAY which is the fifth film. The story of a woman who gets an audio tape recording made by her father who she thought was dead. The tape promises a reunion if she follows the instructions on the tape. Of course it turns her world upside down. While you kind of guess where it's going the film has enough dread and fucked up dream logic that you get creeped out and are willing to take the ride.

The rest of the films are a mess. Pretty much everyone strives to be either gross or funny or both over scary with the result that the film largely lays there. Its also painfully clear that none of the filmmakers really understand the short form of story telling.

VALENTINES DAY Maxie is a teen girl who is in love with her swim coach. She is mercilessly bullied by the other girls. But a kind gesture gives her an idea as to how to help with his needed transplant. I wouldn't care that you know where its all going if the director treated anyone with respect. He doesn't. The worst part is Maxie, our Carrie like heroine is treated as joke and contempt. We are supposed to laugh at her when instead she should break our heart. This is just ugly and nasty.

ST PATRICK'S DAY starts off promising with a conflict between a mute young girl and a teacher who wishes to be have a child, but it turns by degrees stupider and stupider as a terrifying be careful what you wish for is turned into an over the top comedy. The tension of the first half goes away rather quickly.

EASTER kind of almost worked. It certainly will mess up your head about what rabbits and Jesus have to do with each other. The trouble is outside of one truly fucked up character this film descends into nothingness as it simply stops. Its as if the director ran out of film. I could live with how nothng is explained if it had a conclusion. It doesn't and it had me muttering "well that was pointless" out loud.

MOTHER'S DAY has a woman going to a doctor because every time she has sex she gets pregnant. She is sent to the doctor's sister who she thinks may be able to help with spiritual means. Where this goes is nowhere because we aren't given a great deal to go on. Worse this is another film that just sort of stops. It might have worked had it been a genuine scare but it's the sort of thing you have to think about a second before it sinks in.

I spoke of FATHER'S DAY above.

HALLOWEEN.
Kevin Smith should just stop making films. He should also stop casting his daughter who is beautiful but not much else. This stupid film about three cam girls who jam a car battery powered vibrator up their pimps ass and then force him to show them his.... well I'll leave that if you're dumb enough to see this.  Suffices to say that this is a one note joke of the sort a psychotic ten year old might come up if he was trying to seem adult. Its gross, and stupid. Actually its mostly stupid, so stupid that coupled with the "funny" parts of TUSK and the reviews of what ever the recent feature he screened at Sundance  it looks like Kevin Smith should hang up making movies because his sense of what people want to see is gone. The segment is one of the most asinine things I've seen in ages.

CHRISTMAS
Everyone wants a new virtual reality headset which shows the wearer themselves. I don't understand why you would want to see your own life but hey. Actually the film is an interesting thing until the illogic of the plot comes into play as we are first shown that just by putting on the head set it shows you a unique thing for you. Later we are told you have to log in...a change that's made so that what everyone sees- the mayhem and murder can be seen by the next person to put on the headset. It might have worked if there was a payoff but there isn't

NEW YEARS EVE
Serial killer kills his current girlfriend then goes out on a date on New Year's Eve with a lonely girl. If you don't know where this is going you haven't seen enough horror films or read enough TALES FROM THE CRYPT comic books. What should have been a grand finale lays there, so much so that people started leaving the screening once they were sure where it was going.

Reaction after the press screening was mixed. From what I gathered genre fans were much less enamoured then those who have not seen better variations of the stories.

One of the least and most disappointing films at this year's Tribeca Film Festival