Saturday, January 1, 2011

Unseen Turkey Day, Hours 11-12: Operation Double 007 (#508, 1993)

MST3KZzzzzz...zzzzzzz... wub wub wub wub...zzz, zzz... snort..uh! Oh! Uh! I'm awake, I'm awake! Sorry, it's getting into the wee hours of the morning and I'm dozing off a little while I'm staying up all night watching 25 straight hours of Mystery Science Theater 3000. And I'm afraid I just had the strangest dream. It was a really weird one, almost like a fever dream. Seriously, you couldn't even believe have the stuff I thought I was seeing.

I dreamed I was watching an episode of MST3K, but none of it made any sense! TV's Frank was in lederhosen...

MST3K


...and Crow had invented a buzzard toy that bobbed up and down to get at rotting raw flesh...

MST3K


Clearly I must have been dreaming, because a prestigious composer like Ennio Morricone would have had nothing to do with a cheesy film that's fodder for MST3K.

MST3K


At that point in the dream Emile Largo from Thunderball came in wearing his bathrobe accompanied by scantily-clad vixens...

MST3K


And Sean Connery's brother Neil was there, too! Man, my dreams have a low budget.

MST3K


Around that point, things really started getting surreal...

MST3K


Especially when "M" and Miss Moneypenny showed up to meet with Neil Connery. What's up with that, REM sleep?

MST3K


Also, Lady Gaga was in my dream.

MST3K


Then Miss Moneypenny started firing a machine gun. Hmmm, I wonder what Freud would have to make of that dream? Oh well, sometimes a machine gun is just a machine gun.

MST3K


And no reputable dream therapist would find anything unusual at all about a group of old west showgirls hijacking a nuclear missile.

MST3K


This part of my dream tells me I'm a little obsessed with Marlon Brando's portrayal of Jor-El in Superman: The Movie...

MST3K


...then there was something about radioactivity being woven into marketplace bazaar carpets...

MST3K


You could tell it wasn't a real movie, because at the end, the villain escaped.

MST3K


Then, Torgo showed up.

MST3K


So, that was a pretty weird-ass dream, and not at all an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. That will teach me to eat toasted cheese before bedtime. Let's see if I can stay awake all night for the next exciting MST3K episode, or if I fall asleep and dream about a fat gluttonous private detective in bed with Krystle Carrington, some generic beer, and a bottle of baby oil. Hah! Like that could ever be a movie!

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